Could it be that who you really are is not what you think about yourself but rather what is coming out of other people’s mouths about you?

If so, then if you want to change who you are, you need to behave in such a way that what comes out of other people’s mouths about you changes.

Your feedback meter is the effect you are causing in other people’s experience of you.

This consideration becomes even more interesting when you realize that you have the power to choose what experience you have of other people.

If who another person is, is the experience that you have of them - and what you say about your experience of them - and if you have the ability to select what story you make up about the experience you are having right now in each moment about the other person, then you have the ability to reinvent who someone else is.

This is one of the tools to use in your experiments in Manmaking.

It often shows up that the natural order of things that the masculine creates the space and the feminine fills it with abundant creativity, expression, and life. All people have both energies and true mastery is to bring balance to these forces internally.

But what happens when the men need to express and the women aren't listening? What happens when the space offered by the masculine is taken for granted and filled by the feminine with expectation rather than gratitude?

While the lack of appreciation can be frustrating, we need to learn to express our needs. If we try to keep bringing deeper presence to the expression of the feminine when our need is actually to be heard, we are setting ourselves and our partners up for resentment and conflict.

This form of repression seems to usually stem from one of a few places:

1. "Real men" aren't supposed to have needs
2. "Real men" aren't supposed to have feelings
3. "Real men" aren't supposed to express much of anything
4. Men must atone for "the sins of the patriarchy" and not repress or control women in any way, even if we are being treated poorly. After all, "real men" are "tough enough" to not be emotionally impacted.

The thing about repression is, whatever is being repressed will inevitably pop and come out (or you'll literally die of dis-ease). When it does, our "tolerance threshold" has been crossed and the repressed expression erupts out, devoid of compassion. In an attempt to be "real men" and atone for "the sins of the patriarchy" we end up disempowering ourselves and sometimes even feeling perpetrated against by the carte blanche expression we've allowed the feminine.

The reality is we are perpetrating ourselves out of the faulty programming we have internalized about masculinity. And in doing so, we are actually the propagating the patriarchy.

The feminine is actually innocent. She keeps expressing because it is what she does. And in those moments of masculine repression she will actually often express herself even more because she is looking for connection and reassurance. We, as men, must learn to stand in the truth of our masculine power, free from shame, and fully expressive and supportive of all needs, feelings, and boundaries, including our own. This is how we build trust and call the feminine home.

Modern men are trapped inside the intellectual and energetic construct of the patriarchy like a Mastodon in a tar pit. The more a man struggles against the patriarchy the deeper he sinks into it. He has nothing to stand on in the pit of tar. Every wiggle brings him deeper, but by not wiggling he still sinks. As some point, perhaps when he is 40 years old, perhaps 33, perhaps even at 26, the tar covers his face and head and he is gone.

How can a woman detect how far a man is sunk into the black sticky tar of the patriarchy? How can a woman estimate the chances that the man could ever come out of the patriarchy enough to be with her as a man rather than as a hollow patriarchal puppet?

And if a woman finds a man who has a chance of escaping the patriarchy, what can she do to enhance the chances his escape will be a success?

At birth each male must choose whether or not to join the patriarchy. If he chooses not to join the patriarchy he may simply die, or experience such disgust at being a man in the patriarchy that he doubts or undermines his own masculinity. Women usually have no idea what a desperate choice this is.

Six thousand years ago global weather conditions radically changed and humanity was thrown into desperate survival conditions. Matriarchies were defenseless against roving bands of scavengers. Out of cutthroat survival arose the game we call patriarchy. We are still playing that game. Perhaps it’s time to consider playing another.

To speak about the patriarchy is to speak the unspeakable. We were born into the patriarchy and we know nothing different. Like fish, we do not recognize the flavor of the water we live in. The patriarchy clones itself through the education of our children by all forms of media, by the schools, and even, unconsciously, by women themselves.

The modern culture world is dominated and controlled by men. Modern culture is dedicated to serving the purposes of men. Men make and enforce the laws. Men make the decisions. Men design our cities, streets, buildings, transportation systems, communication systems, clothes. Women’s beauty ideals are defined by men. Advertisements are made by men. Even kitchen appliances are designed and marketed by men (with unusable instruction pamphlets written by male technicians for male technicians).

Modern culture is a patriarchy - specifically: a capitalist patriarchal empire.

In a patriarchy women are forbidden to take responsibility. Women have no rights. Women have no power. When women were given the right to vote (by men) they were given an illusion of empowerment because voting itself is a masculine form of decision making. Women do not make decisions by 51 percent majority vote. Women naturally make decisions through consensus. Men do not use or understand consensus.

Women are trained to always ask permission: “Who allows us what?” “Am I allowed to be a woman?” The patriarchy makes women into whores because women let themselves be used—for example, as sex symbols in advertising. In the patriarchy there is no place for women to live their true power, so women offer their bodies to get a little of what they want and to be accepted by men. Sexual abuse is typical and often unobstructed or accepted as normal in the patriarchy.

Women’s culture is limited to children, laundry, housekeeping, shopping—whatever the men do not want to do. Women are not empowered as top managers in trade and business. There is no women’s management culture. Religion is dominated by men. Women’s problems are “solved” by men (e.g., surgeons, the president, the pope).

Women are free within the patriarchy. This is a false and ridiculous freedom. If women subvert their femininity and play the roles that men define for them in the patriarchy, they fit well. If women succeed in these roles, they are competitors of men. They wear pants and become better “men” than the men. If the women succeed, the men feel afraid and become aggressive toward them.

The patriarchy creates wars on the planet to have a market for selling its weapons. The patriarchy has allowed corporations to purchase the governments of every UN Country, and their military, and their police, and their schools. The corporations use governments and their armies and police to 'protect' 'their ownership' of 'their properties'. Mega governments do not have the purpose of building a bright future for humanity on Earth. (Nanonation governments, on the other hand, can and are. When will you build and inhabit your nanonation?)

The patriarchy is not round. Love is missing. Women have forgotten what their role is. Women compete with other women for the love and acceptance of men. Women have forgotten that they ARE love.

Because the patriarchy is unacknowledged within the patriarchy, women are angry and don’t know why. Women are angry because men have unconscionably hurt women and children. Men have historically disregarded and abused the feminine, and women feel righteous rage. Resentment among women has been growing for centuries. Hatred of men is passed on from generation to generation, from mother to daughter. Withhold, sabotage, superiority, betrayal, disharmony, disrespect, conflict, and unspoken hatred characterize relationships between men and women.

The patriarchy views women as crazy. For solving relationship problems between men and women the patriarchy proposes that women go to psychotherapists, get divorced, or take drugs, implying that it is all the women’s fault.

Women’s internal Queen of the Underworld feels very glad when men suffer. This is the game as it is being played out now.

This description of the current state of affairs is not intended to incite a revolution to overthrow the patriarchy. As a woman you do not need to destroy or even change the patriarchy in order to accomplish your goals and meet your needs. The patriarchy proposes one game. You have the ability to play another.

Any contest between women and men is like a contest between a spider and a fly. There is no contest. Spider eats fly. Here is a powerful secret: Women can simply remember who they are and, without permission, start a new game. The new game is this: There is no war between men and women. Men and women play different games. And although the games are different, they are perfectly complementary.

The new game is not really new. It is an ancient archetypal game. The new game starts by you redefining Woman from the point of view of woman and not from the point of view of man. From the new definition you take new action. Here is what you can do:

• The basic action of the new game is radical responsibility: responsibility for everything. No more you playing victim. No more excuses. No one else to blame for anything ever again.

• The wound from the patriarchy is deep. Find a way where you can decide that the wound belongs to the past and does not matter anymore. Let the gift of pain’s realizations stay with you while the need for revenge just drifts into nothingness. Let the ownership of your power return to life in your center as well as in your woman’s vision of a right and joyous life. Immediately before you there stand opportunities to create what you want.

It doesn’t take long for a woman to discover that when Woman is attended to in a special way, the archetypal Goddess naturally arises through her. Women love to live the Goddess. She is glorious, sensual, beautiful, bold, juicy, powerful, loving and radiant.

It is the archetypal Man’s job to attend to Woman so that the Goddess can shine. But the patriarchy does not produce initiated Men. There has not been a Men’s liberation movement. In a patriarchy men do not have to grow up. In order for Woman to be the power behind the throne, she needs a King to sit on the throne. Since there are no Kings, you need to make one for yourself. Kings are made, not found. Stop waiting around. Play a new game. Learn how to make yourself a King.

Or don’t. You can always continue playing out your life as if you are a victim of the patriarchy. King maker or victim, the choice is yours. You decide each minute through the actions you take.

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